Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
